Kikyonazumay

Once upon a time I described my heart as a playground at midnight. Like, barely legal abandon. Like grass stains and  laughter. Like rum and coke and delicious secrets. Fireflies and stealing kisses from people just as haunted. Ten years later my heart is more parking lot. I mean three fifteen in the morning. I mean dusty lights and mayflies. I mean, cracked asphalt and the weight of time. I mean, I'm getting older and my sadness is no longer edgy it's just inevitable.

Three pills a day and like magic my mania is damn near invisible. I've been warned that it's a fickle illusion. Sauteed mixed vegetables and peppermint tea. I have wasted half of my life trying to quell the rebellion in my blood. Stop taking up so much space, smile pretty, no teeth. Blonde hair and green eyes. We're going to destroy each other.

I think you're haunted/ haunting your own house. He asked me about making love stay, it looked like I knew what I was doing. It's choosing to ignore what won't kill you. I miss my stray dog freedom. And We are all liars here.

Half mad, half magic. Dust-witch, green eyed monster. The echo of every gutter-girl that came before me. I don't have enough hands to cradle all of this ache. I want. I want. I want.

Every morning I walk the alleys half asleep. Half a mile spent praying on my knuckles to a God worth believing in. Our mother of plastic mercy, she didn't give me much in the way of faith- but you know the rest. Feathers, feathers, more feathers. This has been the year of grace. Teaching my hands how to be still. Singing loudly, and often. Every spring I mourn the aquarius. He died too young. April is a month long funeral. I am loved by a woman with too many secrets. I bite my tongue and love her back as gently as I'm able. Too many times I've broken my own heart chasing the truth. I don't need it anymore. The second streetlight flicker

There is a freckle on the palm of my right hand.          Between                 my heart and my head line. I am ever evolving/eroding. Madness dances on the horizon. And I go  willingly.